Excuse me while I put it out there

So as you can probably tell from my last post things haven't been too great lately. Its hard to really put it into words and I have tried, really, to do it several times but at the end of it all I realize that while you guys will always do what you can to help me deal with it you aren't the problem and I need to face the problem head on.

So I did. I put it all out there today. I am not sure whats going to happen, if its going to make things better or worse but at this point I really had no other choice. I am not a confrontational person by nature, I am used to bottling up the things that bother me until I get to a breaking point and flip the hell out. But I refuse to do that anymore. Its not a good approach to dealing with the stuff that bothers me and its not fair to the people who it directly affects either. They should know whats going on not find out once they can do nothing about it.

Do I feel better about the whole thing? Quite frankly, no I don't. I feel like shit. Probably worse than I did all weekend. It was strange for me too because I had a hectic weekend, almost every second was filled with people, things to do and see. So I faked my way through it. Smiled when appropriate, laughed, made a silly joke. Was my heart in it? No. I would have preferred to be home in bed coming to terms with the status quo.

I'm not really sure what to do next. I guess I'll just let it be and see what happens. If nothing does, thats an answer in and of itself.

Thank you guys for being so awesome and so quick to offer a shoulder it really does help to know you all care so much. I hope you had a great Easter Weekend :-)