The beyond overdue blog update

What can I say? My cup runneth over.  Things have been so great/crazy lately I don't know where to begin.  I guess I will start where I should; at the beggining. 

After 7.5 years at the foundation, I decided it was time to move on.  I had an amazing opportunity to continue to do events at a great local company that works for both non-profit as well as corporations and I couldn't pass it up.  It was the next logical step in my career and one that I feel, was long past its time. 

But everything has its obstacle and the main one for me was getting over my fear of driving because I would have to drive once I made the move.  So I finally, finally buckled down and after 29 long years, conquered my fear of drivig.  I honestly feel that without the Gerbil's patient understaing during the process I never would have been able to go from intense fear to licensed driver in 3 weeks. That's right 3 weeks.  From there I went on to buy my first car, an Espresso colored Fiat 500 Sport and enjoy my last week at the foundation.

Today marks the close to my second week at my new job and I have loved every second of it.  I'm busier, get a chance to use my creativity, get a long with my co-workers, have an office minus drama and don't resent the work or anything that comes with it.  After all these years it feels like a giant weight has been lifted off of me. 

Things at home couldn't be better, the Gerbil and I are making BIG plans and we couldn't be happier or more focused on our long term goals.  He is kicking massive ass at work and is fulfilled both musically with his compositions and in his day job.  My guy is one happy rodent :-)

I feel like after so much struggle, I have reached a good, happy median. 

Event though only one is getting crossed off this time, it's so major it deserves it's own update.

The Life To Do List

· Live in a different country

· Learn to drive - DONE!! Finally

· Open my own bookstore

· Spend more time on my photography

 

· Learn to play the piano

· Learn proper French, not the crap I know

· Spend a night under the stars

· Take my mother to Egypt

· Take a road trip across the US

 

· Visit Cuba with my family

· Volunteer at an animal habitat

· Marry a nerdy, funny and adorable boy

· Spend at least a month on my honeymoon

· Start a family

· Give said family (boys and girls) mini-hawks

· Start riding my bike around the neighborhood to run errands

· Love up a koala bear

· Learn to ski

· Read the complete works of William Shakespeare

· Memorize sonnets

· See Elton John in concert

 

· Finish college

· Practice random acts of kindness

· Ski in Switzerland

· Have a garden

· Skinny dip

 

· Live in the moment

· Go on safari in Africa

· Finally take a spin in my super awesome roller skates

 

· Volunteer at a retirement home

· Jump in puddles

 

· Have better posture

· Live one winter in a cold, snowy place

· Write a song

· Learn to ride a horse

· Go on a picnic at least once a month

· Paint for the sake of painting

· Watch every Audrey Hepburn movie made

· Spend a month in India

· Document my life in photos

· Give up cheese for one month, just to say that I can do it

· Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity

· Read every X-men comic ever written

· Volunteer at a food bank for Thanksgiving

· Don't over think everything

· Watch all 6 Star Wars movies in chronological order over 2 days

· Read the entire LOTR series

· Find that perfect house

· Become a librarian

· Take a trip with my sister to somewhere amazing

· Read one book a week for one year

· Adopt a dog

· Go camping in the backyard

The Uncertainty Ahead

I've been thinking about what lies ahead and it's like a map of jumbled subway lines.  There are so many paths that I can take but only one of them will get me where I need to go.  The Gerbil and I have been talking about it and making decisions.  Slowly.

He recently started a great job and he loves it.  So far so good.  Move two steps forward on the board.

But now it's my turn.  I have to make a big decision soon and while I am leaning towards one way I'm nervous as anyone would be with such a life altering change.

I'm going to cross my fingers and just jump.  

29 years...what's the difference?

My birthday was last Saturday.  I am officially in my last year as a twenty-something.  What can be said about it? Nothing much actually.  My aunt, uncle and cousins were in town and spent some time with me at my birthday to-do and my uncle Fred asked me "So how does it feel to be 29?"  I gave him the same answer I give anyone who asks me this question "the same as it felt to be 28, and 27 and even 23 really."

It's true!

It's not like something magical happens on the day of your birth.  Faeries don't come out and magically make you feel older, add more wrinkles to your face.  It's a gradual change.  Do I feel old? Sometimes.  I am not the spring chicken of 16 anymore but then again, I was never really a spring chicken.  I have always been an old lady at heart.  Silly when I want to be, but ultimately set in my ways and damn lazy when I can get away with it.

Having dinner at Brio with the girls, rocking my awesome Star Wars dress! 

So what did I do to ring in my oh so auspicious 29th year.  I spent the day lounging/frying at the beach with my friends and family.  And I mean the day.  I was there from 11-6.  I am 17 shades of brown right now, and the Gerbil well, let's just say I have never seen such an interesting burn in my life.  I think my favorite part of the day was when my best friend Angelica got there with her husband and son in tow.  I kind of felt like I was on duty the rest of the day, there were so many people there.  But by the time Angie got there everyone else had left, so I got to really laze around, talk, hang out.  It was the mellow day I had envisioned.

We went out to dinner that night and spent the rest of the weekend at my parents.  It was nice.  It was mellow.  It was peaceful.  It was very much me.

Sometimes you just know.

Last night on the car ride home sitting next to the Gerbs I had one of those "aha" moments where you know everything is right with the world.  A moment of clarity where I realized that everything I have done has for better or worse directed me to him.  I have never been one of those ooey gooey romantics.  I do believe in true love despite having gone through a terrible divorce and I do believe that someone is out there that is perfect for you...but I never could have imagined that he was right outside my door this whole time.

I know that I haven't been as open about this relationship as I have been about my previous ones but it was something that I really wanted to keep to myself, hold it close and treasure it.  Our story has not been as storybook as others, it's really more of a "I've heard it all before" kind of tale.  But maybe I appreciate it so much because it didn't take moving mountains, crossing borders or incredible pain and hardship to make it happen.

It just did.  And it works, so well.

We went to the same school.  But never met.  We have dozens of mutual friends.  But never met.  We both have blogs and subscribed to each others.  But never met.  And then just like that one day I get a message via Facebook that says:    

" I'll just act brave enough right now and totally disregard how weird this might come out

 but I just want to say  I think you're absolutely le gorgeous."

The simple statement that started it all.  We talked for a couple of weeks despite my dating hiatus and by the time we met for the first time knew that we would be fast friends but with no greater expectation than that.  Somehow, because it was just that natural, that simple and that perfect (in a not so perfect way) we have been together ever since.

As cliche as it may sound we really do complete each other and I can't tell you how good it feels to know that you have found the person you were meant to spend your life with.  In my 28 years (almost 29) I have never been so sure about something as I am about him and the strength of our relationship.

The Gerbs playing his bass at one of his YMF gigs.

Hanging out at EVE

My Valentines present - a gorgeous promise ring and some
yumm cheese danish enjoyed at our Keys weekend getaway

We like to be gross in our room

Another night out with friends and the Antisteez crew

Our anniversary present matching rings "I love you", "I know"

Celebrating his 29 birthday with my parents

On our vacation

Birthday love on the beach

That corn was delish! 

The weekend that put everything into high gear...at one of his gigs post performance.

He makes it easy to laugh, cry and be silly. He supports me and together we are a strong team that makes sure we are there for each other no matter what.  Do we fight? of course we do.  I am a very passionate Leo and he a shifty Gemini but no matter what we never go to bed angry.  It gets resolved, worked out and filed in the history books. We move on, stronger and happier because of it.

Our close friends say we are disgusting, not because we are all about PDA but because we are so comfortable around each other that he rates my burps on a scale of 1-10 and I smell his armpits to make sure he doesn't have funk.  Somehow despite our oddities as a couple, the magic is there and doesn't wane.

I'm so happy that he sent that message and that I despite my initial resistance answered and started a dialogue because I honestly couldn't imagine my life without him.

Thing's I didn't even remember I wanted to do - third time's the charm

Any long time followers of my blog will remember that I have an ongoing list of things that I would like to accomplish/do in my lifetime.  It's one of those lists that you kind of forget about and by the time you get around to revisiting you realize, "Holy Shit, I've actually done some of this stuff."

That is always a welcome surprise. This time around I actively worked to accomplish one of the to-do's and the outcome my Pin-Up photos was so much better than I could have expected.  So here is my latest update...slowly but surely I am checking them all off, and it feels so good!

The Latest Done List -

√ Start embellishing my own clothes - I recently started to put little touches on accessories and it's beyond addicting.  I've come to realize that I can actually make most of the cute things that I always spend so much money on.  Who needs to dish out the dough when I can just make it myself :-)

√ Foster stray dogs - This one is only halfsies, because technically they aren't dogs they are cats.  But I currently feed and care for four.  Lola, Whiney, Our Cat and Vader.  Our Cat is harder to keep track of but the other three show up twice a day for food, water and some loving.

Lola on the far left, Whiney in the middle and Vader on the right eating their dinner

√ Watch less TV and spend more time on my hobbies - I gave up a bunch of my shows late last year in order to make more time for living.  And have since picked up more hobbies/side projects than I know what to do with.  But they're fun and keep me busy.

√ Stop drinking soda full stop - Technically this was done for me when I developed kidney stones, but having said that I am really enjoying my soda free life.  I drink so much water its crazy and even indulge in juice on occasion.  I'm such a rebel!

√ Take Pin-Up photos - This was one of those great experiences.  I have never felt as beautiful as I did upon seeing those photos.

√ Move somewhere that I actually like - Who would have thought that moving to North Beach would make such a difference in my life.  But I really love it.  I love my little apartment with Teresa and now the Gerbil, I love sitting outside in the afternoons feeding the cats, I love going to the beach and laying out.  And I love having so many friends so close that they can just drop by unannounced for a BBQ or an afternoon of hanging out.

√ Write something for myself, just because I want to - This became a big goal of mine this year.  And within the last few months I have taken on several freelance writing jobs and made myself  happy in the process by writing because I wanted. 

Done but not forgotten 

√ Move on - I think any readers that are still around from when the blog started will remember the day I posted about this...it was a great moment to realize that I could be happy again.

√ Create my own embroidery patterns - I just did this for the first time this week, it was fun and challenging. Please Sir, May I have some more.

√ Fall in love with someone who can't live without me – It’s funny how people come in and out of your life and then you realize their purpose…Damian, yours is to be my other half.  You were mine from go and we had our own language from the moment we started talking.

√Play in the snow, like for real not the 1/2 an inch I played in - I've never been one to be childish and uninhibited...in NY this past February I couldn't help it.

√  Sell my nonsense on Etsy - I'm in the process of creating my store and getting stuff out there and I couldn't be more excited even if I don't sell a damn thing. 

√Kiss in the rain – The ex-boyfriend made this happen for me on my first visit to Montgomery. It was coming down, we were in his backyard listening to the crickets it was an excellent memory I will always cherish with him.

√Wake up when the alarm clock goes off - I still can't believe I did this. (although today I was 30 minutes late to work)

√ Do one thing just because it feels good, even if it’s not the right thing - I still can't believe I did this either. Oh CacaBear!

√ Show up to works 10 minutes early - Rare, but it's happened a few times in the last year. The look of shock on my bosses face is priceless.

√ Visit my grandmother more often – I love spending time with my grandmother and as she gets older I appreciate the moments I get with her even more.  I have taken advantage of those moments this year.

√  Send out holiday cards to all my friends and family - I wanted to make this happen 2 years in a row but I guess doing it once still counts for something, we did this again this year.  What!!!

√ Hold a lizard in my hand, most likely a tiny, tiny, tiny baby -  This just happened yesterday.  My sister caught a lizard in a napkin and asked if I wanted to release it and while it was technically in the napkin this is a HUGE stride for me in overcoming my fear.  I felt a rush of happiness once I successfully released the little guy in the backyard.

√ Try Yoga - And I love it.

√ Have someone ask me to dance when there is no music playing – The ex-boyfriend used to love doing this in his empty apartment.

√Take a spur of the moment trip – Austin.  Pure Joy.

√ Make the ultimate mix tape – I did this for the ex-bf’s Valentine’s present and he absolutely loved it, it included a song book with the reasoning behind each selection.  It was perfection.

√ Start reviewing books – I started and then I stopped, must continue.

√ Go on a vacation with close friends and don't worry about my regularly scheduled life while there- I've been lucky enough to do this twice now. And I wouldn't trade it for the world.

√ Swim in open ocean without wrapping myself around someone's neck (I know I'm ridiculous, damn Jaws!) - I still wouldn't put my back to open ocean but being able to be a grown up in the ocean was pretty awesome.

√  Get a tattoo - I've gotten three and the fourth is in the works, so is my quarter sleeve. I love that I've been able to find another way to express myself.

The Pending To Do List  

·  Live in a different country

·  Learn to drive

·  Open my own bookstore

·  Spend more time on my photography

·  Learn to play the piano

·  Learn proper French, not the crap I know

·  Spend a night under the stars

·  Take my mother to Egypt

·  Take a road trip across the US

·  Visit Cuba with my family ·  Volunteer at an animal habitat

·  Marry a nerdy, funny and adorable boy

·  Spend at least a month on my honeymoon

·  Start a family

·  Give said family (boys and girls) mini-hawks

·  Start riding my bike around the neighborhood to run errands

·  Love up a koala bear

·  Learn to ski

·  Read the complete works of William Shakespeare

·  Memorize sonnets

·  See Elton John in concert

·  Finish college

·  Practice random acts of kindness

·  Ski in Switzerland

·  Have a garden

·  Skinny dip

·  Live in the moment

·  Go on safari in Africa

·  Finally take a spin in my super awesome roller skates

·  Volunteer at a retirement home

·  Jump in puddles

·  Have better posture

·  Live one winter in a cold, snowy place

·  Write a song

·  Learn to ride a horse

·  Go on a picnic at least once a month

·  Paint for the sake of painting

·  Watch every Audrey Hepburn movie made

·  Spend a month in India

·  Document my life in photos

·  Give up cheese for one month, just to say that I can do it

·  Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity

·  Read every X-men comic ever written

·  Volunteer at a food bank for Thanksgiving

·  Don't over think everything

·  Watch all 6 Star Wars movies in chronological order over 2 days

·  Read the entire LOTR series

·  Find that perfect house

·  Become a librarian

·  Take a trip with my sister to somewhere amazing

·  Read one book a week for one year

·  Adopt a dog

·  Go camping in the backyard

A birthday treat for the boy

I had been planning and scheming for weeks. My close friend and co-worker Cary happens to be a phenomenal photographer and we had been talking about doing a pin-up style photo shoot for the Gerbils 29th birthday.  But how.  We do live together after all.

I already had the clothes, so one afternoon I kicked him out invited my sister over for dress up time and we picked out and styled my shoot down to the shoes and earrings.  We even picked the props.  I had one special shot up my sleeve, or not to be exact. My sister, negative Nancy that she is, didn't really think we could pull off.  When Cary and I discussed it she was so excited I knew beyond a doubt we had to try it. If we failed, well at least we gave it a go.  Oh was I ever glad we did.

I went on the mission to end all missions for that one shot...and one bright Sunday afternoon I told him to get lost.  While I was nursing a raging migraine Cary showed up and we set about posing and taking photo after photo.  I did my own hair and make up and thanks to my sister and Taco I was able to crack a few smiles through the pain of my splitting headache.  I ended up with some AMAZING photos...here is a sneak peak of the finished product.  They are all PG-13 no worries ;-)

So, yeah, I got a few splinters.  But when I saw the pictures it was worth it.  And he definitely thought so.

 

Cary loved the silhouette pictures, the sun was KILLING me!

I wanted to make sure to incorporate his bass and amp in the shoot so I donned my best Rock-A-Billy look and went for it, there are a few with me messing around with his bass that are really silly

This is the Sexy Librarian - I am wearing my Deadly Dames skirt from Pin Up Girl Clothing in one of the photos from this set I am posing with a Light Saber.  Yes, a light saber.

This is the set that I am the most natural and comfortable in.  It probably had something to do with my sister and Taco acting like fools behind Cary to make me laugh.  I was also SUPER comfy in that halter and short set.

These are from the "impossible set" I went out and bought as much candy as I could afford.  It is a well known fact that the Gerbil is obsessed with sweets and did my best to fill Taco's tub with them.  What is not known is how much other stuff is in there to make it look like its filled with candy ;-)

This photo enlarged to an 11x14 on a stretched canvas ended up being his actual physical birthday present.  The shoot was really to give him options to choose from.  He fell in love with this picture.  Although he chose this one he says he is going to end up printing and framing a few more because he had too many favorites.  In the end it was all worth it just to see his face.

For those of you in need of an amazing photographer I HIGHLY recommend
Cary Diaz Photography
not only is she SUPER fun and easy to work with she is beyond affordable.
 

 P.S.  Not only did this make an awesome birthday gift for the Gerbil it also crossed taking a Pin-Up photo shoot off of my to do list!